Kiss This
by ArtimusDin
Summary: Duo helps Wufei feel better ^_^ and no, not like *that*... at least, not yet... nah, he just drags 'fei-chan out clubbing/to a bar... *looks innocent* 2x5


Disclaimer: I don't owe the boys, nor do I own the song, I don't even pretend to...   
Pairings: 2x5, 6x4 (no, that was not a typo), RelenaxDorothy, NoinxSally   
Warning: Yaoi/shounen ai, Treize-bashing (I love him folks, honest!!) and stuff... and some OOC-ness.... some not-nice language....   
  
~~~~~~~~~~   
  
'Kiss this' by: Aaron Tippin   
  
Duo bounced into the kitchen of the safe-house they were currently residing in with a determined look on his face and hauled Wufei up from the chair he was sitting in. Wufei looked startled and a little stunned by the sudden-ness of the move, but he let himself be lead by the braided pilot of Shinigami to his room were he was promptly shoved onto the bed and Duo grabbed the shirt laying next to him. Duo shoved it at him and told Wufei to change because he was going to go clubbing with Duo whether he wanted to or not. Wufei did as he was told in a slightly shell-shocked manner, Duo in this mood could stun even the most stoic person, as Heero and Trowa could tell anyone with the utmost sincerity.   
  
When Wufei was done, Duo glided into the room looking every bit the club going person that he was. Duo was dressed to kill, almost literally as Wufei felt his heart stop for a eternal second. Duo smirked, that's exactly the reaction that he had been going for. He heard Wufei sigh as he dragged him out to the car that he had acquired from Quatre with only the tiniest bit of pleading and begging. The fact that Zechs had been there distracting Q-man hadn't hurt either, Duo thought with a smirk.   
  
When they got inside the bar, Wufei headed straight for the drinks, and not Coca-Cola either. No, he had ordered vodka mixed with Tequila, a sure fire way to get to the 'I'm gonna get so blasted that I can't even think straight' stage. That suited Duo just fine, he had brought Wufei here to forget about that bastard that tore out HIS dragon's heart and tore it to pieces. Duo's face briefly turned into a snarl that made the nearest people flinch back.   
  
//She was a woman on a mission   
Here to drown him and forget him   
So I set her up again to wash him down//   
  
Wufei had managed to get quite a bit more than a couple drinks down himself and was starting to feel a little bit better, so Duo grabbed him and headed down to the dance floor where they danced a while before deciding to go back to their table. Wufei motioned for the barkeeper to refill his drink again, and Duo decided to get himself a sprite so that one of them would be able to get themselves home afterwards.   
  
//She had just about succeeded   
When that low-down, no-good, cheating, good-for-nothing   
Came strutting through the crowd//   
  
The door of the bar opened and someone came in, but while Duo couldn't see exactly who it was while they were still in the doorway, he knew that they looked familiar. His eyes widened when he recognized who it was. It was 'The Bastard'...... a.k.a. Treize Krushrenada. Treize started over towards them, smirking when he recognized Wufei. Evidently Treize didn't see Duo because he was hidden by the shadows from the booth behind him, while Wufei was framed by light from the overhead lamp like a fallen angel... well, a fallen angel in a dark, smoky bar.   
  
//Oh, he was laying it on so thick   
He never missed a lick   
Professing his never ending love//   
  
Treize started sweet talking Wufei, trying to get him to 'give him another chance'. Duo saw red, that bastard tore his Fei's heart out, stomped on it, and now expected Wufei to take him back?!!?!! Treize's smooth, persuading monologue wasn't broken by anyone or anything, not even when Treize's head swiveled to follow a woman that was showing off more of her body than she was keeping covered, until Wufei interrupted him.   
  
//Oh, but I'll never forget when she stood up and said   
So, I guess you think we're just gonna kiss and make-up, don't you   
That's when she said//   
  
"So what you're trying to say is everything's okay, you're sorry, so let's get back together?" Wufei didn't even look up from where he was examining a pack of matches like they were the most interesting in the world as Treize blinked, momentarily non-pulsed by the interruption that he hadn't planned on. Wufei put the match-book down, slowly stood up, and calmly looked him in the eyes and said, "Fuck. Off." Then promptly punched Treize.   
  
//Why don't you kiss, kiss this   
And I don't mean on my rosy red lips   
Hey me and you, we're through   
And there's only one thing left to do   
You just come over here one last time   
Pucker up and close your eyes   
And kiss this//   
  
Wufei watched impassively as Treize clutched his broken nose while Duo just smirked. The other patrons of the bar were starting to notice the little drama going on, and Duo was surprised to see how many familiar faces were out there. Relena walked up from her booth to where Wufei was still standing over a surprised Treize and looked down at him. She grinned an evil little grin, kind of reminiscent of Dorothy. Then she KICKED Treize as hard as she could........ right where the sun don't shine. Treize's face invented some new shades of red, purple, and blue as he screamed like a little school girl. Duo and Wufei looked at Relena in shock as Dorothy sauntered up to them as well. Dorothy smirked as she wrapped her arms around Relena and pulled Relena to her. Duo smirked back.   
  
//Well, the next thing I recall   
She had him backed against the wall   
Chewing him like a bulldog on a bone   
She was putting him in his place   
And I mean right up in his face   
Dragging him down a list of done-me-wrongs//   
  
Just as Treize's face returned to it's normal color and he was able to get up, a little scuffle in the back of the room drew Duo's attention, those almost everyone else ignored it in favor of watching the two in the front. His eyes widened. Noin seemed to be trying her best to draw her gun, while Sally was trying HER best to get said gun away from her. While Duo was distracted, Wufei had laid into Treize, backing him up against the nearest wall and ran down the list of things that Treize had done to him, including, but not limited to, cheating on him with Zechs (who had rapidly gotten over Treize with the *cough*help*cough* of Quatre), Noin (who had hooked up with Sally after she had sworn off dating men ever again), and RELENA of all people (who had surprisingly gotten all but attached at the hip with Dorothy, the notorious war-hawk), lying to him about anything and everything, breaking almost every promise that he had ever made to Wufei, not keeping their dates, not remembering their anniversaries, demeaning him, and just generally expecting too much out of Wufei. While Wufei was tearing into Treize, Noin had managed to get her gun out, though Sally had her hand pinned down and was currently trying to pry the gun out of her hand.   
  
//It was just about now   
That the crowd gathered around   
They'd come to watch him pay for his every sin//   
  
By now, Wufei and Treize had EVERYONE'S attention, from the biker gang gathering around them and cheering Wufei on, to the street punks that were watching delightedly from a near-by corner. The Queen of the World and Dorothy stood just behind and to the left of Wufei and were watching everything that went on with identical little smirks.   
  
//She called him everything under the sun and   
When we thought she was done   
She reared back and let him have it again, man   
She said, she said//   
  
When Wufei had run out of things to say to Treize in English, he moved on to Japanese...... then Spanish...... Dutch...... Latin....... German........ French......... Italian...... Russian...... Mandarin...... and then finally Cantonese. By the time he finished, everyone was watching him in awe, well, everyone except Treize and Duo....... Treize was in shock because Wufei had never spoken to him like that before and Duo was in shock because he understood EXACTLY what Wufei had been saying and he had never even known that Fei knew those words!!! Just as Treize was getting over THAT little shock, a bullet embedded itself in the wood besides him, just barely missing him. Treize nearly wet himself and his face paled as his eyes widened yet again. Everyone looked over to where it had come from. Noin stood there looking smug as Sally hid her face in her hands and groaned. Noin smirked as she walked over to Treize and leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Next time, HONEY," she stressed sarcastically, "I'm not gonna miss." She sauntered back over to Sally and dragged her out the door.   
  
//Why don't you kiss, kiss this   
And I don't mean on my rosy red lips   
Hey me and you, we're through   
And there's only one thing left to do   
You just come over here one last time   
Pucker up and close your eyes   
And kiss this//   
  
Wufei smirked as Duo watched all of this with wide, but amused, eyes and, in full view of Treize and the bar, leaned over and kissed Duo....... and this wasn't one of those innocent little kisses either, this was a 'get-them-a-room-NOW-or-they're-going-to-use-this-one-instead' kiss. Wufei pulled back and looked in Duo's glazed eyes and, still smirking at Treize, pulled Duo out to their car as Treize watched.   
  
//Hey, kiss this good-bye   
See Ya!!//   
  
As Wufei left the bar with Duo, he looked back at Treize and......... gave him the bird.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~   
  
forgive me for writing this bunch of shite.... -_-;; 


End file.
